Saturday, April 24, 2010

Autism speaks...PMS SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!

Not in the mood at ALL today! Let me just start by saying that I HATE EVERYONE TODAY!!!!! Our house has been under construction for the past 4 months which feels more like a F-IN YEAR!!!! And although Andre (our Russian live-in construction dude) is lovely, I'm loosing it!!! My husband is "WILD HOGGING" it in "FLAHRIDAH" with his "mid-aged" buddies, and I'm stuck at home with a Russian and 7 Mexican guys. Granted, I feel like Snow White because they all come up to my vagina; but I'm a little tired of Russian talk radio and Mexican music. In addition, our next door neighbors just rented their basement out to a Russian guy who has no boundaries!!! He's already parking right in front of our house and has blocked our mailbox in. I'm ready to ring his doorbell with Andre (also my translator), and tell him to finger himself!!!!! I remember I parked in front of my neighbors house ONCE for 10 min and her half dead husband was aggressively ringing our doorbell and demanding we relocate. I don't want to start an ALL OUT war over a parking space. After all, I really do like them. However, on days like this not even a cute puppy is safe. Only kidding PITA!! I should be so lucky that my blog pisses them off and becomes the talk of the town! Aside of ALL that, I just saw a movie on LMN (need to stop watching that channel). It really makes you paranoid! Husbands cheating with best friends and babysitter. Or just pain poisoning their spouses. Anyway, today I saw "LOVE LETTERS" (very clever title). Patty Duke (always Patty Hearst to me), plays a 50 year old that "accidentally" gets pregnant by her ever older husband. And they 'struggle' at first, but soon come to realize that it's the greatest thing that's ever happened to them! At 43 I found this to be very 'hopeful', just in case...then I noticed that the guy playing their 30 year old son, was a really good friend of mine, Max Martini. We used to bartend together and now he's a successful actor. So I felt 'hopeful' about possibly having a child at 50 and deflated about the fact that Max has moved on to be a successful actor. Especially, because I just picked up a bar shift. After ALL that I go to the gym on Staten Island. Which is like walking into a 'straight' gay bar. And after SUFFERING through a work out, because I'm desperately trying to maintain a youthful body. I drive home only to be stopped two feet away from my driveway. Apparently, there was a loose wire and Verizon was blocking off the entire street to put up the line. The cars are piling up behind me. I'm pissed! And I can see the Verizon guy doesn't give ONE SHIT that we are all annoyed! He is passive aggressive because he HATES his job more than he HATES his wife, and that's A LOT OF HATE!!! Now I'm vein popping mad and I decide to abandon my car up the block and walk home. I walk to my house only to see the Russian is parked in front of our driveway again!!!!!! Now I'm fuming! I squeeze in between his car and our mailbox to grab the mail and walk into the house only to be further annoyed with Andre who has boobie trapped the house even more than before. Walking in the house is like tip-toeing in a mine field. Anyway, I'm playing limbo with tape that's blocking off rooms, cement drying, wires hanging, and wet paint. I haven't seen Zimba (our cat), for days! I check to see if her food is dwindling so I'm assuming she's still alive and hiding in the wreckage. Unless, of course the Mexicans are eating it. Anyway, I finally walk into our bedroom (my safe place), to place the mail on the bed and I notice that my husband has a check from google ADsense. I'm the one who inspired his blog! And it all started from my best friend who insisted I start a blog. Anyway, long story short he's already make more money that me, AGAIN!!! Further more, I can't yell about it to him because he's reliving his youth on his motorcycle run or as I refer to it as a "crisis-run!" In any event I realize that the anger I'm feeling is PMS. And I think to myself, look on the bright side...at least you're still getting it!!!!

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